Pandora’s Box gets bleached, tightened & a mint for good measure

We are very strong in our drive to push ourselves to these limits of beauty and perfection. However, in our desire to push the limits and achieve the ideal what are we willing to go through, for whom, and at what potential expense.


Generally, I write about enhancement and cosmetic surgeries done to the upper portion of the body. A suggestion came in to turn my attention to the work done below the belt. Apparently, I have been neglecting to give attention to that region and there were interesting things going on. AlterNet’s Andy Wright wrote awhile back about The 6 Weirdest Things Women Do to Their Vaginas. The article made me curious about what we women were up to and what are motivations were. The list Andy gave is as follows:

  1. Vaginal Deodorant
  2. Douching
  3. Vaginal Rejuvenation
  4. Labiaplasty
  5. Vagina Mints
  6. Vaginal Bleaching & Dying

What is interesting about the article is that we are willing to beautiful an area of the body that, let us say, four people see regularly: You, Your Partner, Your baby and Your Gynecologist. Which one of these people is concerned about whether or not your vagina is in tiptop runway condition?

As far as the smell is concerned (deodorant/douching), if you want to avoid wafting, spray a good expensive perfume like you normally would and you can walk around in a cloud of flowers or fruit most of the day. If the smell is powerful enough to permeate this cloud of perfume, there may be a medical issue going on. I am not a medical professional, but I know that there are signs your body gives to tell you something wrong. It would be better to be aware of an offensive odor and figure out the reason that the odor is what it is instead of covering it up and staying in denial.

Vaginal rejuvenation and Labiaplasty, turns out to be popular after having kids. I know there can be medical problems and those are NOT what I am referring to here, I am talking about the elective and cosmetic use of this procedure. For the elective cosmetic procedures, I wonder, at what point do we look at our vagina and say they are not up to par? Who are we comparing our vaginas to that makes us feel so incredibly insecure to electively undergo a surgery in this most personal of areas? Alternatively, what is it that drives us to bleach or dye our vaginas or anus’! Ladies, it makes me wonder if we are looking too much or have run out of other viable ways to spend our time and money that this is what we are electing to do. I can see where, if this is your paid profession and need to undergo procedures for your job, and I would love to have that conversation another day. If we are putting our vaginas out there for the world to see, what is the dictate of beauty that we aspire and desire?

Mints! I know there are goodies out there; I have a friend who sells them. There are other options besides inserting foreign objects. What happened to mouthwash? Why mints? Who came up with these?

To address our third member of the list, your baby does NOT care what your vagina looks like in labor. I remember watching a show and there was an expectant mother close to her due date. She was asking for the full work-up. She wanted waxing, pedicure, the whole nine yards of vaginal/feet preparedness for baby’s birth. Admittedly, I got a pedicure before my second, it was for me and it was my only time. I know vanity and that insecurity of going in there to the stirrups and thinking, “They are all looking at me and judging me!” After three, they are not, they should not be and your baby could care less. Our baby’s are not interested in the way our vaginas smell, look or taste. They are more interested in the way you and your body, smell and tastes to some extent. In addition, I know, the baby may be the cause of #3, through normal birth or an episiotomy, but talk to your Dr. about the options, like vaginal massage and exercise, outside of the extreme of surgery.

As far as your doctor is concerned, I do not think that the extremes are necessary to give your doctor something to look at that they cannot judge. He sees your vagina once a year and he wants to see what is medically going on, not that you got a heart shaped pubic, a fresh vajazzle or bleaching. Doctors, if I am wrong, please let me know. Some maintenance grooming, but overall they should not be judging us on the superficial appearance of our vaginas. If they are, who interests are they looking out for anyway? You have a whole year before you have to make eye contact again.

I know someone will read this and think I am completely against anything outside of regular grooming. To clarify, I am not anti-beauty, anti-enhancement or anti-modification (Body mod is for another post). In this instance, we are electing here to manipulate and modify our vaginas to achieve beauty in an area that very, very few people will see unless it is your profession. I support women taking steps with our bodies and find it truly fascinating. Pushing the limits of beauty and perfection requires us to ask questions about not just what we are doing, but why. Such as, in our desire to push the limits and reach for the ideal what are we willing to go through, for whom, and at what potential expense? I would love to hear where the influence is coming from, from the self, others or society. I can imagine, because there is a power and control in modifying our bodies I imagine there also comes a change in our self-esteem when we change something so personal. We can take the reigns over nature and make ourselves be what we see in our minds. Ultimately, what are we trying to achieve, where are we going, what do we want and why?

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